If I am allowed to go back and give one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be this – “Be you and Do what you love. Don’t worry about what others would think about you. You may regret it later.” It’s because I had been there so many times in my life. And most of the time I took decisions based on others’ perspectives, that I forgot to listen to my inner self.
It’s in the near past that I realized it is not worth it and in fact, not at all necessary. I had to pay off years of my life to learn this and not everyone can afford this. ****
Our belief system strongly holds the thought that we should be concerned about what others think about us. The need to have the respect and approval of others is there in our DNA. Now, it became too hard for us to be carefree and do what we like.
Think, if you’ve ever been here.
1. You don’t dare to convey your real opinions.
2. You do things that you don’t like and regret later.
3. You find it so hard to come out of your comfort zone and do something you like.
4. You’re scared that you would be rejected by your fellow mates if you do something different.
5. You think others would judge you for what you do.
*If any of your answers are yes, you have to take action on it now.
You don’t have to be a rebel to follow your heart. All you need is confidence and some clarity in your thoughts.
The truths that I share here are from my life experiences.
1. Stop judging others
It all starts with us. We’re unintentionally taught to judge others if they don’t fit in. And so, implicitly it warns us that we may also be judged the same way if we don’t conform.
So, whenever someone does something that’s out of your box, firstly don’t judge them. If possible, encourage them, and if not just get the inspiration from them. And most importantly, don’t take part in any gossips about them.
*Once you stopped judging others, you would gain enough courage to show up. Instead of spending time on gossips, you can invest time in improving yourself.
Being judgemental is more painful than being judged. You would know how liberated you would feel once you shift this very thought.
2. Prepare yourself for the worst-case
Ask yourself. What’s the worst-case possible if we do or don’t do something just because we are very much into what others may think?
Think of the most uncomfortable situation that may arise if you do what you want to do. Have an action plan on how to respond to that.
Now that you already have a strategy in place for the worst case, there is nothing that can hold you back. Believe me, the reality would be far better than what you have in mind.
Count on those things which you didn’t do as you wish and regret now. It’s better to say “I tried and messed up” than “I wish I did that”
“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take” – Lewis Carroll.
3. Don’t try to please everyone
Realize that, what others think of you defines them and not you. You cannot change the way they think. It’s their business.
If you try to please everyone, you finally would be lost. The true identity of your personalities would be buried deep inside. It’s like you’re giving them the power to live your life.
All you can do is, to be the best person you can be. But accept the fact that, if you could not please someone, it’s not your fault.
Someone out there will judge you no matter what. Those who care, wouldn’t judge you and to those who judge, you don’t really matter.
“I can’t tell you the key to success. But the key to failure is trying to please everyone” – Ed Sheeran
4. No one has enough time to think about you
In reality, no one has enough time to think about you all the time. Everyone has their own insecurities to deal with.
When you crack your head and hurt your heart for what others think about you, they would be busy, worrying about what others think of them.
To tell the truth, none of us thinks much about what others are doing. Once you realize that everyone has their own life and it matters the most to them, you’d probably know how baseless your doubts are.
Others may have perceptions about you and sometimes, that may not be good. But, they’re not going to think about you constantly. Why do you hold your life back for such vanishing moments?
5. It’s just because they envy you
If someone judges you, it might be because you’re doing something which they wished to do once. And they chose not to do it to stay in norms. Now, when you do similar stuff without expecting others’ regard, all they could do is to envy you.
If you dig deeper, envying is not their original nature either. Sometimes, they feel guilty about the choices they made in the past. The only way to convince their inner voice is to give some bad comments about you.
When someone is jealous of you, it means you hold something that they don’t/ can’t have. you’re following your heart which someone yearned for and couldn’t do so. So, next time when you’re being judged, remember, you’re already above them.
Is there anything that you can do about this? You know the answer. So, continue to follow your heart, and eventually, you’d become an inspiration for many.
Now you know, why others’ thoughts shouldn’t impact you. But, there are some whose opinions need your respect. There are these people who really care; like Your friends and family.
Have at least a handful of people whom you can trust. It’s important to consider their thoughts and feedback. They need some special space to exhibit their inputs in your actions.
Long Story Short:
A recent study states that the average person has around 6200 thoughts per day. Thoughts about you may not even be more than 2% of that. Why being hesitant for such flashing thoughts?
You’ve already spent a good chunk of your life worrying about others’ opinions. Now, tell yourself that it’s your life and the center stage belongs to you.
And most importantly, offer the same space to others. They may be different from you, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Let’s build positive thoughts to encourage them and get inspired by them.