When is the last time someone’s comment pulled your self-esteem down?
This planet is blessed with such attitudes as well. Almost all of us have been a victim of insulting comments at some point in our life. And yes, if you dare to confess, you would’ve made someone a victim on your way. It’s never-ending.
Sometimes, people’s words may seem really small but leave a big scar in our hearts. Unless we heal it there and then, it’ll become a deep wound.
No, I’m not talking about the insults you face when you lose that million dollar project. It may happen once in a while (or for some, once in a lifetime!). But the constant small put-downs are what needs to be addressed right now.
Micro-aggressions are something that you face every day. It can be about your race, your physique, your way of dressing, what you’ve done, or even what you’ve not done. Anything small yet intimidating comes under micro-aggression.
Research shows that small insults have large impacts:
A study conducted on students reveals that “repeated exposure to microaggressions impacts how students perform cognitively”
As part of the research, a Stroop test was conducted among students before and after the conversations. It’s a simple test that demands the students to say the color of the word. If the word is blue and written in red, the correct response is red.
Each time students took part in conversations with microaggressions, their test scores slipped, while students in the conversation without microaggressions remained the same or improved.
If a small insult can have an impact in a simple Stroop test, imagine the consequences of continuous exposure to such micro-aggressions.
It seems vast and stands tall – Like a giant monster. As if we can’t conquer it at all.
How to overcome it?
I have a single tip that can make it easier for you to handle any kind of put-downs.
“Stop accepting appreciations”
Yes! You heard it right. “STOP ACCEPTING APPRECIATIONS“
I may sound crazy. But be patient to know more.
How does this work?
As we know, but sometimes forget to remember, whatever people say defines them and not us. This applies to both appreciation and insult.
When someone praises you, you’re on cloud nine and for the opposite, you push yourself down into a deep pit. You know it’s their opinion and not the fact.
Why is it difficult for us to remember this when we face an insult? Simple! Because we grasped their opinion when they praised us.
It’s like a pendulum. The farther you move towards pride, the farther you will be doomed towards insults. Relatable right?
So, next time when someone praises you,
Don’t start flying. Keep your feet grounded. Have the clarity that it shows their good heart and generosity. If possible, give the compliment back like “So, kind of you. Thank you” or keep yourself on your feet and say a humble “Thank you”
It means that you’re not refusing the compliment which may sound rude. At the same time, you’re not accepting it and start swinging your pendulum.
Why do we need to take action during appreciation?
After all, it feels good.
Because it’s difficult to act when you’re in pain. The better the situation is, the easier it would be to act on it.
Control your mind during the proud moments. Once you master this skill, your mind will be programmed accordingly. It will become natural to respond the same way to not-so-nice scenarios of life.
How to handle the person who insulted you?
Accept the truth that, people who insulted you are not happy with their life. Being rude is not their nature either.
If you curse them for their action, it will not solve the purpose. Instead, you will remain negative towards each other. It will become a vicious cycle.
So, be compassionate and pray for their happiness. Thank them – they’re a blessing in disguise as they improved your will power.
This way first, you protected yourself from the cold feeling, and second, by sending positive vibes towards that person, you’ve changed your karma for the better.
https://news.illinoisstate.edu/2018/02/research-shows-small-insults-large-impact/